Here are some interesting funny one liner status for you!!

1) Turned my lights off for Earth Hour and I’ve never had so many other cars honking at me.
2) A man of few words, is usually married.
3) I am born of physics, compiled by chemistry, evolved by biology, exist in ecology and decay into geology.
4) I don’t like to be difficult but I’m good at it.
5) I love what you’ve done with the truth.
6) Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
7) Let me give you a little advice,
don’t take any advice from me.
8) The first rule of Fight Club is to get caught looking at another woman.
9) B R E A K I N G     N E W S
Server 404 has been found!
10) Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
11) Objects in mirror feel older than they appear.
12) Be the Google search results you want your future employer to find.
13) Finish your plate, there are people starving at Victoria’s Secret.
14) My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
15) My girlfriend always laughs during sex . . . no matter what she’s reading!

16) Q: What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? A: 24 carrot gold.
17) What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener
18) I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock.
19) Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last as long for fat people.
20) Here’s a FedEx joke – actually, you’ll get it tomorrow
21) I’ve finally stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.
22) What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic
23) That doctor couldn’t diagnose an worm in an apple even if he ate it.
24) text a girl something dumb and it takes 42 seconds for three of her friends to get the screenshot!
25) i hate mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays, and half of fridays.
26)Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others
27)Never turn your back on a charging turtle

 

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